Sorry!
by apracot
Summary: So this is a bunch of one shots about Emily losing her temper at the team while she's pregnant... H/P
1. Sorry

Emily and Hotch story (of course)... Emily is mad at Hotch but he doesn't know why.

Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds... =(

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In some families, _please_ is described as the magic word. In our house, however, it was _sorry_. – Margaret Laurence.

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Emily stormed into Hotch's office, not even bothering to knock, and closed the door behind her with a sharp bang.

The team who's all gathered in the bullpen once Garcia told them what was about to happen, watched her go in, their faces a mixture of horror and interest.

"Ten dollars say we hear gun fire within the next ten minutes." Morgan said from his desk.

"Yea and twenty dollars says we have to give Emily an alibi for it." Garcia added laughing.

"I can't see why she's making such a big deal of it... I mean it was going to happen sometime." Rossi said.

"And that's why you've been divorced three times." JJ said with a grin.

"Damn I wish we could hear what's going on!" Morgan said.

"Well I could get CCTV coverage but it won't have sound." Garcia supplied.

"I doubt we'll need sound." Reid said hearing Emily's raised voice coming from the office.

* * *

Emily slammed the door of Hotch's office and stormed over to his desk.

Hotch looked up from his file when he heard his door slam and once he seen the 'if-looks-could-kill-you'd-be-dead' look on Emily's face he knew his day was about to get a whole lot worse.

"WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?!" she shouted the second she came to stand over his desk.

Hotch looked at her in shock. He had no recollection of saying or doing any think to piss Emily Prentiss off... he knew better... but he also knew that if he said that he'd leave this office slightly less of a man than when he entered.

"I wasn't thinking?" he tried, not wanting to anger her any more than she was already.

"Damn right you weren't!" she exclaimed.

Now Hotch was panicking. Of course it didn't look like this on the outside, but on the inside he'd gone into melt down trying to think of what the hell he'd done. He finally decided to bite the bullet and just ask.

"What exactly is it that I've done?" he said carefully, not wanting to blow up the whole situation.

"WHAT!" she shouted. "More like what haven't you done?"

Oh damn... not only was Hotch now completely confused but he was in serious shit unless he found out what the hell he'd done and put it right.

"Look Em, as angry as you are at me for whatever I've done, you're going to need to tell me what it is I've done in order for me to apologise." He explained.

Emily sighed and sat down in one of Hotch's chairs before shooting him an angry look.

"You really don't know?!" she asked, in pure disgust at his lack of recollection at what he could have done.

"No I really don't!" He stated plainly.

"Remember last night... when I was at Garcia's with her and JJ?" Emily asked.

"Uh... yea." Hotch said, not really knowing where this conversation was leading.

"Right well did you get any phone calls during that time?" she asked again.

"Uh yea I got two... one from Dave wanting to know did I want to come over for a drink, but I said no because I was looking after Jack and one from... Oh shit!" Hotch exclaimed.

Now he knew why his fiancée wanted his head on a stick... Oh hell he'd screwed up this time!

"Oh shit is right Aaron... what the HELL were you thinking?!" she said, making gestures with her arms as she spoke.

"Uh... I don't know... I'm so sorry Emily." He said... for the first time losing his cool, now that he'd realised just how badly he'd screwed up.

"Damn it Aaron I wasn't ready to tell her yet!" Emily sighed exasperated.

"Well it's been three months... I mean much longer and she would have guessed!"

"I know, I know, but I was going to tell her at the dinner she was having next month so she couldn't give me the lecture." Emily sighed again.

"Emily she's your mother... she deserves to know before the dinner." Aaron said, trying to defend his actions.

"You've obviously never had the 'don't-get-pregnant-outside-marriage-lecture' with your mother then." Emily complained.

"Well seeing as I'm a man that would have been a pretty weird conversation to have with my mother." He replied, breaking out a dimple as he did.

"Oh ha ha... very funny." She said, also smiling. "I'm being serious; she's coming down next week to talk about the WEDDING!"

"WHAT?!" Aaron said. "I mean I do want to marry you sweetheart but... we're not getting married yet... I'm sorry."

"That's exactly what I said, but she's insistent that I get married before the baby comes so as not to ruin her image." Emily said, trying her best not to burst into tears... damn hormones!

"Don't worry sweetheart I'll talk to her and sort all this mess out." Said Hotch soothingly, reaching over and stroking Emily's hand as he said it.

"You better... I'm not getting married before I'm ready... pregnant or not." Emily huffed.

Hotch smiled. She'd gone from psychotic rage to childish in less than ten minutes which he thought was adorable... not that he'd ever say that to her, she really would kill him then!

"Don't worry I will." He soothed. "And I really am sorry for saying it." He apologised again.

"Don't worry, I suppose I still love you." She said with a smile and a wink, as she stood up.

"Ah good, I couldn't really be bothered finding someone else to fall in love with... I mean I done ok with you I guess." He said also smiling as he stood up, before leaning over and giving her a quick kiss.

* * *

"Wow" Garcia said as she seen Emily leave Hotch's office.

"Yea no blood on her clothes." Dave commented.

"Huh... maybe she's really good at cleaning." Morgan guessed.

This caused JJ to snort with laughter.

"Believe me it's not that... After Henry was born she tried to help me clean my house a couple of times before I finally banned her because she put on a wash and turned all Will's white shirt's a greeny yellow colour... and the weird part is there was nothing other than white clothes in the wash?!" JJ said.

"How the hell did she manage that... you know what I don't think I want to know." Morgan said in an amused tone.

"Well I won then." Reid said. "I'm the only one who thought Hotch wouldn't die so hand over your money." He said with a smile.

The rest of the team grumbled as they each handed over a twenty to Reid, who was grinning from ear to ear.

"You weren't actually betting I'd kill him were you?" Emily asked, having seen and heard the conversation from when she left Hotch's office.

"Uh... please don't kill us?" Morgan pleaded in mock fear.

"Hey I'm hormonal and I carry a gun so don't go there Morgan." Emily said looking suddenly furious.

With this Morgan went a shade paler and found he suddenly wanted coffee, running off to the coffee machine.

Once he was gone a huge smile spread across Emily's face.

"Oh that was mean, scaring my chocolate god like that." Garcia scolded. "I like it." She added with a smile.

"I know so did I... it was fun. If he stays this scared of me for the next six months things could get interesting." Emily said with a little laugh before going back to her work.

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Finished... tell me what you thought =)


	2. Chocolate biscuits

Ok so BOK is who gave me the idea to turn 'sorry!' into a bunch of one-shots about Emily when she's pregnant (and angry). So I decided to have each chapter about one of the team getting on her bad side. The first one was about Hotch and this one is about JJ.

Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds... I just have dreams that I do.

JJ sat in her office drinking a cup of coffee and browsing through some case files to see was there anywhere that needed their attention.

Her day had been going well so far. She'd only gotten one call from a police department wanting help... and that case had been a bit of a no brainer.

It wasn't until two o clock that her day went from good to bad and then to terrible!

She heard a knock on her office door but before she could look up she heard whoever it was... probably a woman judging by the sound of heels on the floor, though it could be that weird guy from counter terrorism... storm into the room and slammed the door.

She looked up and was shocked... if not a little scared... to see Emily Prentiss standing in front of her looking like she was ready to take out her gun and go on a killing spree.

"Uh... How can I help you Em?" she asked cautiously.

"By throwing up the contents of your stomach, that's how!"Emily spat back.

JJ looked at Emily in confusion. She knew Emily's hormones had been taking over for the last couple of months and of course Emily had broken down, or shouted a couple of times for no real reason, but she'd never made a request that weird before.

"Uh... I don't think I understand what you mean." JJ said nervously, not wanting to have Emily scream at her like had happened with Hotch after the whole "phone call" incident a week ago.

"Of course you don't, because you're innocent JJ." Emily said sarcastically before walking over and throwing an empty biscuit rapper on her desk.

JJ looked at the wrapper in confusion for a long moment before realising what she'd done.

Normally she'd just say sorry and they'd move on, but Emily didn't look like she was in the forgiving mood so JJ decided to play dumb and see where that got her instead.

"Jeez thanks Em, but the packet's empty." JJ said, trying to inject some humour into the conversation... it really didn't work though!

"Wow no shit Sherlock!" Emily exclaimed. "And I have reason to believe YOU were the one who ate the last damn biscuit."

"What! Who told you that?" JJ said, hopping her 'playing dumb' ploy would work.

"Reid did, that's who... and thanks to his eidetic memory, I doubt he's wrong." Emily snapped.

Ah shit... why did it have to be Reid that seen her. If it had been Morgan or Garcia she could have come up with an excuse or a lie... but oh no, it had to be Reid and his stupid eidetic memory!

"Uh... I didn't know you wanted them." She said, trying to worm her way out of trouble.

"Oh no... It's not like I'm three months pregnant and craving chocolate biscuits... I should have put a sigh up to warn you properly!" Emily growled sarcastically.

JJ winced at that statement... she really shouldn't have eaten the damn biscuit, she knew that but she just wanted something to eat with her cup of coffee and it had just been sitting there... well in the cupboard above the coffee machine, but that was the same thing.

"I'm sorry... I'll buy another packet just for you if you want?" JJ said trying to make up for her mistake.

"Oh yea so I can get fat quicker!" Emily snapped. "Nice try, but not going to happen."

JJ sighed... she hopped she hadn't been this bad when she was pregnant, because she'd go back in time and kill herself if she was!

"No Em, that's not what I meant." JJ reasoned.

When she said this Emily looked away and JJ took the opportunity to take her phone out of her pocket and send a text for help to Hotch.

"Damn it JJ why'd you eat the last biscuit?!" She said viciously, just as JJ sent the text.

"I really am sorry Em." JJ said, all the while praying Hotch would hurry the hell up and get his ass in here.

Just as Emily was about to answer back JJ's prayers were answered and Hotch walked through the door, took a second to assess the situation.

Upon seeing the biscuit rapper on the desk, a scared looking JJ and a very angry looking Emily he immediately walked over to Emily and placed a hand on her shoulder to calm her.

"Piss of Aaron, I'm fine." She snapped, still glaring at JJ, even more angry now that she knew JJ had told.

"Yes of course you are... and you're also lying to a profiler, so how about we take you to the cafe downstairs and get you some chocolate." Hotch soothed.

"NO! I wanted a chocolate biscuit and she ate the last one." Emily hissed, pointing at JJ.

"Ok... but how about we get some from the cafe now instead." Hotch said again as if Emily was an unruly five years old.

"Don't talk to me like I'm a child Aaron." Emily huffed, now sounding childish.

"Well don't act like one then." Hotch countered playfully.

"Oh shut up." Emily said now sounding happier.

"Right now apologise to JJ and then we can go for lunch." Hotch said.

"I'm sorry for flipping out Jayje... you know I love you really." Emily said sounding embarrassed about her earlier behaviour.

"It's ok Em, I love you to." JJ said smiling, and thanking her lucky stars that Hotch had come in before Emily had blown a hole in her wall... pregnant women really shouldn't be allowed guns!

With that Hotch and Emily started to leave JJ's office and JJ got up to follow them out.

"You know you don't need to follow me Jayje, I'm not going to start screaming at the next person I see... thought that would be fun, just to see the look on their face." Emily said with a small laugh.

"Oh I'm not following you I'm going to find Spence so I can kill him for telling you I took the last biscuit." JJ said with a bright smile.

With that the three agents walked out of JJ's office laughing.

Hope you liked it... and feel free to give me ideas on more chapters because I'd love to hear them. =)


	3. Physics Magic Gone Wrong

Ok so this is chapter three in my one-shot series and this one's about Reid... this should be fun...lol.

Disclaimer: Just look at the last two chapters!

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JJ, Garcia and Morgan all stood around Reid's desk as he demonstrated yet another of his psychic magic tricks.

They watched in excitement as the little rocket began to shake as the pressure built up inside it and they all jumped when it finally exploded and went flying into the air.

They all smiled at the capsule going through the air until they saw where it landed... right on top of a five month pregnant Emily's head.

There was a moment of silence as the four agents hopped she hadn't noticed, but there hope's were soon crushed when she turned around and sent Reid a death glare that would make a hardened criminal go weak at the knees'.

"It was nice knowing you Spence." JJ said before rushing to her office, still shook up from her encounter with hormonal Emily, even though it had been almost two months ago.

"You have awoken the beast." Garcia whispered, before following JJ, no doubt going to discuss Reid's fate.

"Dude when she kills you I'm taking your new T.V." Morgan told him, before heading to the break room, to watch the scene unfold from a safe distance.

Reid... who was now on his own and facing a mad woman... gulped as Emily approached him, with a look of pure hatred on her face.

"Hey Emily." He said trying to sound casual, but failing badly due to how scared he was.

"Why the hell does one of your stupid little rockets hit me on the head whenever I walk in that damn door?" She shouted, with one hand resting dangerously close to her gun.

"I'm so sorry Emily." He stuttered, looking like a deer caught in headlights.

"Yea that's what you said last time yet here we are again so you can't be that sorry." She snapped.

"But I really didn't mean it... and you know the chances of it hitting you twice are less than-" he started, but Emily cut him off.

"Do you honestly think I care how likely it was to hit me... all I know is that it has, TWICE, and it hurts." She said, rubbing her head for dramatic effect.

"But it's only plastic, it wouldn't actually hurt you even if it had a propelled launch." Reid stated as if it were the most obvious thing in the world... which to and non hormonal woman it would be.

At this comment Emily bent over with some difficulty... her bump was getting bigger... picked up the little capsule and threw it at Reid, hitting him square between the eyes.

"Ow!" Reid squeaked, rubbing the spot where the capsule hit him.

"Jeez Reid, it's only plastic... it shouldn't hurt when it hits you." Emily said sarcastically.

"Well you threw it at me, there's a difference you know!" Reid mumbled.

"Seriously, unless you want a hole in your head instead of a little capsule I'd shut up now." Rossi said, who happened to be walking past as Reid spoke.

Reid gave a 'please help me' look to Rossi who just smiled and walked on... he wasn't dumb enough to get in between Emily and her victim, he'd learnt that lesson last week when he'd tried to help that poor mail room clerk who'd given her the wrong mail.

"Well you said it didn't matter if it had a propelled launch genius boy... guess you were wrong!" Emily spat, shooting Reid a dirty look in the process.

"Yes but I meant..." Reid started, but he fell quiet when he seen the look on Emily's face.

"You meant what?" Emily asked. "I'd love to hear the end of that sentence!" she growled.

"I um... uh... never mind!" Reid squeaked, looking around the bullpen for help.

JJ and Garcia were standing at the door to the bullpen laughing their heads of, Morgan was leaning against the counter in the break room pretending he wasn't laughing and Rossi was standing in the door of his office with half a smile and half a look of pity on his face.

Reid frowned... not only were none of them making any effort to help him, but where the HELL was Hotch, who happened to be the one person who could calm Emily down!

Just as he was about to call out for help... though he doubted anyone would be brave or dumb enough to help... he heard Emily give a defeated sigh.

He looked up and seen her sit down on her seat and bury her head in her hands.

Reid sat stunned for a moment... had his life actually been spared?!

After a while though he began to worry so he got up and walked around to where she was sitting.

"Uh... Em, are you ok?" He asked, still cautious after what had just happened.

She looked up and Reid could see she'd been crying... damn she had quiet sobs!

"I'm fine it's just these stupid hormones." She said, sounding as if she hadn't been crying at all. "I'm sorry for losing it Reid... you know I love your magic tricks really." She added.

With that she got up, gave Reid a hug and walked towards the brake room for a biscuit and a glass of water... she'd been throwing up at the very sight of coffee since she'd gotten pregnant.

"Damn it she didn't kill you... now I don't get your T.V!" Morgan said as he came back over and sat at his desk.

"Ha, ha Pen told you he wouldn't die... now you have to be the one to tell Em the cafe's out of Danish pastries." JJ said laughing at the look of disgust on Garcia's face as they came back to Reid's desk as well.

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Done! I didn't have Hotch saving Reid in this one because I thought it would be fun to have him face her alone...lol =)


	4. Don't act like a hero

Ok its Morgan's turn now... Mwahahaha!

Disclaimer: ... I've said it all before!

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A six months pregnant Emily Prentiss waddled... yes she officially had to waddle; the child was so big it was probably going to come out of her with a drivers licence... into the bullpen.

She threw her bag down at her desk and made a bee line to the break room for a biscuit... because GOD was she craving biscuits!

As she approached the room she seen one of the newbie's... who was already walking around as if he owned the place... reach up and take the biscuits down from the shelf.

She waddled as fast as she could now determine to eat those biscuits before he got to them... why the HELL had she decided to wear these stupid painful shoes today?

It was then that she was stopped by a worried looking Morgan, who'd obviously guessed what she was about to do... her 'I'm going to kill you' look and the fact her hand was resting on her gun probably gave her away.

"Hey Em, you ok?" he asked cautiously.

"Fine, just fine... but I swear to god if that twit takes them biscuits he won't be." She growled, trying to move past Morgan.

"Emily calm down ok." Morgan said resting a hand on her shoulder.

When he did so she seemed to calm and Morgan let out a breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding in.

Just then however the new guy took the last three biscuits out of the pack and began to eat them.

"WHAT THE HELL!" Emily shouted.

Morgan groaned... why did he have to be the one dumb enough to try and stop her.

"Jesus like, does he have to take them all?" she said obviously angry. "They're for everyone jackass!" she shouted to the guy who looked at her in shock.

"Emily calm down... this can't be good for your baby." Morgan reasoned.

"No, what's not good for the baby is twits like that guy taking all the biscuits!" Emily snarled motioning at the guy who was now exiting the bullpen quickly.

"Jeez Em, no need to make the poor guy shit himself." Morgan said as he watched the man run off like a scolded cat.

"I'd have done a lot worse if you hadn't gotten in the way." Emily spat, turning her anger to Morgan now that the other guy was gone.

"Look Em, it was for your own good... I seen the look in your eyes, you would have landed in prison." Morgan said, trying... and failing badly... to defend his actions.

"I may still land in prison if you don't stop sticking up for the new guy." She growled.

Morgan kicked himself internally... why hadn't he just let her kill him, it would have been amusing after all... but oh no, he had to act like a hero!

"How about I buy you lunch... my treat?" he asked, now trying to smooth talk his way out of trouble.

"Don't sweet talk me Derek Morgan or I will have your head on a stick." She snapped.

Emily looked around the room to see if she could spot the twit of a man who'd stolen HER biscuits... she really should put her name on the packet in big block capitals... because apparently a sticky note with DO NOT TOUCH didn't register with some people... the FBI had seriously lowered their recruitment standards!

"Emily, Agt. Thompson's probably run of back to his desk... and before you ask I won't tell you where his desk is." Morgan said seeing the look on Emily's face.

"Damn it Morgan, tell me so I can show the guy what happens when he tries to steal my biscuits." Emily said, resting her hand on her gun.

"Ok number one they're not actually your biscuits and numb-" Morgan started, but he was cut off by Emily.

"WHAT!" She shouted. "Ok have you not heard what happened when JJ tried to use that excuse?"

Morgan gulped... damn why the hell had he forgotten about that... he may as well draw his weapon and shoot himself before Emily had a chance to.

"I'm sorry Emily... I didn't mean that... of course they're yours... how about I go and get the guy who took them." Morgan said pleadingly as the look on Emily's face got madder and madder.

"No... How about instead I use you as target practice." Emily growled, stepping close to Morgan as she did.

Just as Morgan was about to turn and run for his life his phone started to ring loudly, alerting him that his life had just been spared.

"Aw shoot... I've got to take this call Em." Morgan said, looking at the caller I.D.

Really it was only a text from his sister but he didn't care... to him it was an escape route.

"Hello." He said as he pretended to answer the phone, still keeping one eye on Emily. "There's been an accident! I'll be right there."

He then hung up and looked at Emily.

"Sorry Em, that was JJ, I need to go... but we can continue this talk later if you want." He lied, hopping she wouldn't notice.

"Right, but don't think this is over yet." Emily warned.

With that Morgan ran towards the elevator... wanting to get away from Emily as soon as possible.

Emily turned and began to walk back to her desk, plotting how best to kill the newbie, when she seen JJ coming from the conference room.

"Hey Jayje... where was the accident?" Emily asked as JJ came down the stairs.

"Uh... what accident Em?" JJ asked cautiously, not knowing if Emily was angry or not.

"The one you called Morgan about a second ago." Emily stated in confusion.

"I never called Morgan..." JJ started, but she stopped when she seen the look on Emily's face, knowing that was the wrong thing to say.

"I'm going to KILL HIM!" Emily shouted, before she stormed of... well more like waddling quickly.

"Woops." JJ sighed before returning to work... there was nothing she could do for poor Morgan now anyway.

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The end... hope you liked it =)... tell me what you thought =)


	5. Early Meetings

Ok so now it's Garcia's turn. I didn't like Emily getting mad at Garcia but she couldn't be left out!

Disclaimer: Nope...

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Hotch walked briskly... even in a desperate situation like this one he didn't run... through the doors of the BAU and over to the break room to where the team had congregated for their morning coffee.

They had been called in early... half seven to be exact... because of a serial killer in NewMexico.

"She's coming." Was all Hotch had to say for the team to scatter like bowling pins, each heading in opposite directions to escape the wrath of Emily.

Emily had never been a morning person but since she'd gotten pregnant she'd bitten the head of anyone who as much as said good morning to her... and the team knew this only too well.

Just as they power walked away from the break room a six and a half month pregnant Emily came into the office with a look of 'don't mess with me' written all over her face.

Just as she reached the cupboard where her biscuits were stored... yes they were now her biscuits, after the Morgan incident everybody in the FBI had stayed well away... Garcia came through the door with a bright smile on her face.

She walked over to the break room for a coffee, not seeing Emily who was blocked from view because of the press and not noticing the looks of horror and pity on the faces of the team as they watched her go to the 'death zone'... which was anywhere with Emily in it these days.

Not even Morgan was brave enough to go and save his 'baby girl' from the dragon as he instead chose to watch in horror... preferring to be killed by Garcia for letting her walk in their than by Emily for just being alive and not pregnant.

Once Garcia seen Emily she froze and looked around her for an escape route, before Emily spotted her... she was to late however.

"Would you like some coffee?" Emily asked her, in what was meant to be a pleasant voice but came out bitter.

"No, no it's ok, I um... I'll just have water." Garcia said trying to think of something that wouldn't take her long to get.

"Oh no, you may as well have the damn coffee, it's not like I can have any for another two and a half months." Emily spat, now not even trying to hide her jealousy.

Oh crap... where the hell was her 'chocolate god' when she needed him to save her!

Emily was looking madder and madder by the second and Garcia was using all parts of her brain... which were awake at this hour... to think of something to say to calm her down.

"Well how about I don't drink coffee again until the baby comes... that way you won't be the only person not drinking it." Garcia offered, hoping this would work long enough for her to get away.

"Ha... I don't need your pity... I need coffee!" Emily sighed dramatically.

"Well you're still able to drink green tea aren't you?" Garcia asked timidly.

"That shit... I may as well be drinking toilet water." Emily spat bitterly.

Garcia couldn't help but smile as the agent behind Emily put the packet of green tea back on the shelf and walked away... thought the smile quickly disappeared as she seen the look she was getting from Emily.

"What... you think it's funny that the only thing that doesn't make me throw up when I drink it tastes like crap." Emily snarled.

"No... I was just... um... never mind." Garcia stuttered, not wanting to get the other agent in trouble to.

"God why are you so happy?!" Emily said suddenly after a moment of tense silence.

"Huh?" Garcia said, slightly taken aback.

"It's half seven in the fricking morning... the call came in at half six... how aren't you depressed and tired!" Emily whined bitterly.

Garcia knew she was in trouble now... she could tell from the look on Emily's face that she was meant to answer that question... and fast, so she said the first thing that popped into her head.

"Uh... because I'm not pregnant."

The second she said it... no even before she said it... she knew she shouldn't have, but the words just came out... it was like the filter between her brain and her mouth didn't work before eight.

"Damn it Garcia no shit! Well that's kind of obvious... you don't have to brace yourself before you bend so you don't fall over, you can look down and see your feet, you can wear normal bloody clothes instead of the stupid maternity ones... you can drink COFFEE!" Emily shouted, her voice raising an octave with each word.

There was a moment of stunned silence as the entire bullpen turned to see who had been dumb enough to unleash Emily's anger.

Garcia stood in a petrified shock, not sure whether to run or to simply meet her fate... Emily hadn't actually killed anyone yet, though the tech guy who'd come to fix her computer had very nearly been her first victim when it had taken him more than ten seconds to fix it... that had been the reason Garcia had refused to fix it in the first place, she liked her life!

To her left she could just make out the sound of JJ and Reid whispering, no doubt discussing who'd get what in her will.

To her right she could see Morgan mouthing the words "I'm sorry" to her... boy was she going to kill him later... If she lived that long!

"Emily I'm so sorry... you know I didn't mean that and... um... I'm really sorry!" Garcia stammered, hopping her life would be spared... or at least that her death would be a humane one!

Before Emily had a chance to answer... or draw her weapon as the case may have been... the glorious sound of Hotch calling them to come into the conference room broke through the extremely tense and silent bullpen.

"Oh guess we have to go now Em." Garcia said in what could only be described as the most thankful voice ever.

"Don't think I'm done with you yet Ms. I Can Go More Than Twenty Minutes Without Needing To Pee." Emily growled.

On this note Garcia ran off to the safety of the conference room... with the full intention of killing Morgan when she got there for not helping her.

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Done... only Rossi left now... tell me what you thought =)


	6. Cramped Rooms

Now... it's Rossi's turn... =)

Disclaimer: =S

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Rossi sat tapping the pen on the edge of the desk as he stared at the evidence board in front of him trying to focus.

The team had left a while ago to look at the crime scenes and to interview family and left him in the cramped little office with Emily!

However the hell he'd drawn that short straw he'd like to know... though when he thought about it, it was probably because he'd pissed JJ of by stealing her case file this morning and despite the fact Hotch was the boss JJ could get revenge when she needed to.

It wasn't fair though... everyone knew Emily hated doing victimology at the best of times, never mind then she was seven months pregnant and getting crankier by the day!

Rossi was so preoccupied with not doing anything to annoy Emily any more than she probably already was that he didn't hear her clearing her throat loudly.

It wasn't until the second time she done it that he registered the noise and he turned around slowly, not knowing what to expect... well he knew she'd be angry, he just didn't know the severity of her anger.

"Yes." He asked timidly.

"Do you have to tap your pen on the desk that loudly?" she asked, motioning towards the pen which Rossi immediately placed down on the table.

"Sorry, I didn't know it was annoying you." He said smoothly... she wasn't murderous rage angry, just slightly pissed off.

"Well it was." She muttered before returning to the case file she was looking at.

Rossi then returned to the board to see if he could link anything with the victims' abduction sites and dump sites.

A minute or so later though he was interrupted yet again by Emily clearing her throat, this time in a louder and angrier way than before.

"Some of us are trying to work here." She said, giving him an evil look from over the top of the case file.

Damn... what the hell had he been doing to annoy her this time? His pen was still lying firmly on the desk and he hadn't been doing anything else to annoy her... that he knew of.

"Uh... what was I doing?" He asked, in what he hoped was an apologetic tone.

"Trying to blow down the wall apparently." Emily stated. "I mean can you breathe any louder?!"

"Uh... right... sorry!" Dave spluttered, I mean what else could he say?

"So you should be, now shut up and let me get back to this damn case file before I throw it through the wall!" Emily snapped.

"Hm... that shouldn't be hard... now that I'm not allowed to breathe that is." Rossi said with a small smile trying to inject humour to their conversation and subtly state how irrational she was being.

He should have known making Emily Prentiss think rationally while pregnant and looking through victimology was a bad idea and the smile was immediately wiped of his face when he seen the look of rage Emily was shooting in his general direction.

"Are you really trying to piss me of right now?" Emily asked in a tone of disbelief and anger.

To be honest Rossi was in disbelief as well... why had he said that when he knew it was Emily he was talking to... and why oh why had he been shut up in this little room with her!

"Uh... no... I'm sorry." He mumbled quickly.

"Yea you bloody well should be!" She spat. "You're not the one who's ankles have swollen to the size of houses."

"They're not that big." Rossi said trying to be kind to make up for what he had said.

"Ha... that's rich coming from a guy... you don't have to walk on them." She said.

"Sorry, you're right." Rossi mumbled, before returning to the board, not wanting to get into any more trouble.

A minute or so later he heard Emily mumbling something under her breath.

He tried to ignore it at first, but he couldn't focus on the evidence when chances were, the thing she was mumbling about had something to do with him... and from the tone of voice she was mumbling in he could tell it wasn't anything good.

"Uh are you saying something?" He asked cautiously.

"Oh no never mind me." She said, before muttering something else under her breath.

"Are you sure?" Rossi asked again.

"OH don't you worry... you're a man after all, there's no need for you to worry." Emily spat.

Rossi raised his eyebrow... what the hell was she on about now?

"Uh, Emily what does 'you're a man' mean exactly?" He asked cautiously.

"Oh nothing." She spat. "Just that men just sit there feeling sorry for themselves when it's us women that have to do all the hard work... I mean you don't have to deal with swollen ankles or sore backs or LABOUR! Oh no men just have to sit there and look worried." She growled.

Damn it... he'd gone through three wives yet it was Emily Prentiss that was giving him his first ever 'men have easy lives compared to women' talk... typical!

"Uh... shouldn't you be having this conversation with Hotch?" He asked nervously, not wanting to add fuel to the already blazing fire that was Emily's rage.

"I would but oh look at that he's not here right now!" Emily snapped, looking round the room mockingly.

"But I've done nothing wrong." Rossi said defensively.

"You're a member of the male race aren't you?" Emily asked snapped.

Rossi rolled his eyes internally... this was getting ridiculous, thank god her maternity leave started in a couple of weeks... he didn't think he'd survive with her around much longer... I mean she was one of his closest friends but at the moment she was also the most likely person to gun him down!

He was still thinking of some sort of half decent reply or apology that wouldn't end in his head being kicked around the room when the door of the office opened and the team walked back in.

JJ was first into the room and with a quick glance from Emily to Rossi she could tell her plan of revenge had worked, so she picked up a case file and left with an evil grin on her face.

Morgan and Reid both noticed the tension in the room... though you'd have to be pretty zoned out to miss it... so they both decided the coffee across the street was FAR nicer that the coffee here and left to get some before World War Three broke out.

"Yea I think I'm going to join Morgan and Reid." Hotch said with an evil smirk in Rossi's direction, before heading to the door.

Just as he was about to leave... or get killed by Rossi who was now panicking and looking for an escape route... he turned back to the room.

"Uh... Emily would you like to come to? They have Danish Pastries." He said sweetly.

"Oh yea." She said happily. "I'm sure that even a man can finish up here." She added bitterly, shooting Rossi a glare.

"Yes... before you say it you do owe me... big time." Hotch whispered to Rossi as him and Emily walked out leaving a much relived David Rossi in their wake.

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There... and just to say: No men were harmed in the making of this chapter =)... Strauss next i think =)... tell me what you thought =)


	7. Needing to Pee!

OK so this chapter is based on the wonderful idea from mummacass... It's so wonderful because I hate Strauss and this chapter is all about Emily tearing into Strauss... Mwahahaha =D

Disclaimer: =(...

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Emily sat in the most comfortable position she could... which in her state wasn't very comfy... outside Strauss's office, getting more and more annoyed by the second.

She'd been called along with the rest of the team for a meeting with the section chief which was only meant to be brief.

Well damn it she'd seen more brief marathons than the length of the meetings that were going on in Strauss's office today!

Seriously she had a doctor's appointment in half an hour and JJ was still in the room with Strauss and judging on the length of the other meetings... all of which had lasted well over an hour... she wasn't going to make the appointment unless she managed to clone herself in the next twenty minutes.

Just as she was about to 'Morgan' Strauss's door and demand that she hurry's things up an angry looking JJ walked out.

"What the hell took so long?" Emily demanded.

"Nothing that's what! I sat in their for almost an hour talking about old cases that the bureau doesn't even have a problem with when I could have been looking at new ones." JJ fumed... almost as pissed off as Emily was.

"Well I don't have bloody time to play her political game today... I need to pee." Emily said.

This caused JJ to smile... the image of Emily storming in and telling Strauss she needed to pee was one she found quite amusing, but telling Emily this when she was angry would be like playing Russian Roulette only all the barrels in Emily's gun were loaded!

Just as she was about to wish Emily good luck... though really it would be self control she'd need... Strauss walked out and welcomed Emily into her office.

JJ seen Emily shoot Strauss a glare that would have made Hotch feel threatened just before she walked in and closed the door behind her rather forcefully.

"Please take a seat Agent Prentiss, you must be tired." Strauss said in a fake sweet voice that made Emily want to throw up... or maybe just hit her.

Normally Emily would just smile politely... like her years of political training had begrudgingly taught her... but today she really wasn't in the acting nicely mood... her mood was more of a _really_ shit and annoyed one.

"No I'm not tired... I mean why on earth would I be, all I've been doing for the last couple of hours is sitting out on that goddamn seat trying to find a comfortable position to sit in!" She said just as sweetly but with a hint of sarcasm to show just how mad she was.

Strauss looked shocked... apparently she was used to everyone kissing up to her, well not for much longer!

"Uh... Well I'm sorry to have kept you waiting Agent but I had to meet your whole team today." Strauss said, recovering quickly from the shock of being talked back to, and now trying to justify her actions... not a good idea when it was Emily you were talking to.

"Oh right so you just decided to leave the heavily pregnant woman until last." Emily retorted, trying to maintain a professional air to her voice, but wanting to tear Strauss's head of at the same time.

"Well Agent Prentiss I assure you it wasn't done deliberately." Strauss snapped... which was a big mistake.

Emily had been in a bad mood all day... first Jack had spilt juice on her shirt which meant she'd needed to change, which took long enough to do once, then the autopsy report she needed to complete her case file hadn't come, then this stupid meeting and now Strauss was being a pain in the ass... boy was that a mistake Strauss was going to regret when she woke up with a crowd around her!

"What did you fail to notice I that I'm seven and a half months pregnant... or did you just not care." Emily snapped back, losing her professional voice.

"Well we didn't fail to notice, I mean it's quite obvious but..." Strauss began, but Emily cut her off.

"OH so not only did you just call me fat, but you're saying that you did notice so really you just didn't care!" She said, her voice rising with every word.

"Uh... no, of course that's not what I meant!" Strauss spluttered, noticing that Emily was armed... she needed to change the rules, because pregnant agents really shouldn't carry weapons!

"Well it better not because I'm seriously not in the mood for that crap now." Emily growled placing a hand over her gun dangerously; wanting to scare Strauss as much as possible and deciding to use her weapon to do so... she loved having a gun!

"Yes of course I'm sorry... would you uh... like some water?" Strauss asked shakily, trying to mend the bridges she'd broken... well more like broken, then jumped on then kicked about a bit.

"Not unless you want me to pee myself!" Emily remarked angrily.

"Excuse me?" Strauss asked, both shocked and a little scared of the woman in front of her.

"Well as we've already discussed I'm pregnant and the baby thinks my bladder is a trampoline so I constantly need to pee." Emily stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Oh well if you like you can use my bathroom." Strauss offered, motioning towards the door behind her which obviously led to a small bathroom... some people had it easy... I mean an on suite bathroom in an office!

"No because I have an appointment in fifteen minutes so you need to hurry the hell up so I can get out of here." Emily said, not even trying to sweeten her words.

At this Strauss looked totally taken aback... like jeez you'd swear she'd never heard the word hell before... surprising seeing as that was where she was going.

After a moment of silence in which Strauss tried to recompose herself as Emily gave her evil looks, Emily stood up as quickly as could be allowed.

"Well I'm presuming that is all so I'll see myself out thank you." She said before waddling towards the door really not wanting to stay any longer... if the meeting was important it would probably be rescheduled... for after the baby came.

"Thank you for you're... um... time Agent Prentiss." Strauss managed to say as Emily reached the door.

"Ma'am." Emily replied, making the word sound like a swear word in a way only Emily could, before turning and walking out.

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That was fun... I like being mean to Strauss... I was going to have Emily kill her but my last chapter is about Emily when she has the baby and she can't have it in prison...lol. Tell me what you thought =)


	8. End of the Torture

Yay so the baby has finally made his/her (yes I'm not going to give it away just yet he, he) grand entrance and this is just a short chapter in the hospital =)

Disclaimer: Criminal minds isn't mine BUT the baby is so HA!

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"Can we go in?" Garcia asked, standing on her tippy toes to see in the glass on the door of the room.

"No, they need some alone time with their new addition to the family." Rossi said from his seat on the bench, in the corridor of the maternity ward.

"Aw but they'll have plenty of time to do that." JJ said, who was mimicking Garcia's stance at the door.

"Well actually the first couple of hours in a new born baby's life are..." Reid interjected quickly, knowing he'd be shut up as soon as he started.

"Shh... we can't concentrate on spying with you rattling of your facts." Garcia scolded, never looking away from the room.

"You two do realise how childish you look right?" Morgan asked, staring at the two women with a smirk.

The smirk turned into an explosion of laughter however when Jack swung the door open and JJ and Garcia both fell, Jack narrowly avoiding getting his nose broken by JJ's arm and Garcia's head.

Once Morgan's laughter had subsided he walked over and effortlessly helped both of them of the ground at the same time before they walked into the room, followed by Rossi and Reid.

Once they stepped in their hearts immediately turned to mush at the site that greeted them.

Emily was lying in the bed holding the baby in her arms, with Hotch was lying at her side, holding Emily's hand and both of them were looking at their new daughter with loving expressions.

"C'mon guys, you have to meet my sistow." Jack demanded causing everyone in the room to laugh.

They all crowded around the bed one by one, the girls giving Hotch and Emily hugs and the guys giving Emily a kiss on the cheek and Hotch a pat on the back and a firm handshake.

"Guys, I'd like to introduce you to Ruby Hotchner." Emily said quietly so as not to wake Ruby, with a huge smile on her face.

"Huh... not as wrinkly as most new born babies are." Reid said, examining the baby.

"Glad you approve." Emily said sarcastically.

"Wow Em, she's beautiful." JJ gushed, leaning over to get a better look at the sleeping new born.

"Glad you like her... a good godmother should always think her god daughter is cute." Emily said, still smiling.

This caused JJ's head to snap up and almost hit Morgan, who was also leaning over to get a better look... thank god for his quick reflexes as he got out of the way just in time.

"Really!" was all JJ said, with tears pooling in her eyes.

"Of course... I mean who else would I pick... no offence Pen, but you've already got Henry." Emily smiled, handing Ruby to Hotch so she could hug her friend.

"No offence taken momma, I'm quite happy to be little Ruby's eccentric aunt... as long as I get to spoil her rotten and show her how to get herself a man." Garcia said with a wink to Emily and a sweet smile in Hotch's direction.

"Under no circumstances is my little girl going to get a 'man'... she's becoming a nun." Hotch growled, his face paling at the very thought of his precious little girl with a boyfriend.

"Really, I was thinking more along the lines of a burlesque dancer." Emily joked shooting Hotch a smile. "Sorry that was a joke." She quickly added, seeing the look of horror and rage on Hotch's face.

"It better have bloody been." He growled, hugging his daughter closer to his chest.

"Don't worry Aaron, with a father like you and uncles like myself, Morgan and Reid this kid will grow up just fine." Rossi said, earning eye rolls from the women.

"Uncle? More like granddad!" Morgan joked.

"Hey watch it, or little Ruby's going to grow up hearing stories of her uncle Morgan, who was killed by her uncle Dave." Rossi warned, adding emphasis to the word uncle before his name.

"Daddy, Emmy, what's bur... bur... burlesque?" Jack enquired innocently.

"You'll find out when you're twenty one." Hotch told his son.

"Oh so it's ok for Jack to watch a show but not ok for Ruby to star in one?" Emily inquired playfully.

"Exactly." Hotch said, deadly serious.

"Are you being serious?" Emily asked with a raised eyebrow.

"As a heart attack." Hotch said with a frown. "Those places aren't safe."

"Oh don't give me the 'it's not safe' speech, the one I worked in was extremely safe." Emily said without thinking.

The whole room... bar Hotch who now looked amused at Emily's slip of the tongue, and Jack who wasn't paying attention to the conversation anymore... raised their eyebrows so high that if it were a cartoon they'd have lifted off their heads by now.

"You go girl." Garcia said finally, with an approving nod of her head.

"Where the heck was I when you were doing this!" Morgan asked in shock and amusement.

"Probably at a less classy club." Reid smirked, earning him a jab in the ribs from Morgan.

"Did you guys see that!" Reid squealed, quietly so as not to wake Ruby.

"Boy's behave, for the millionth time." JJ said, in as flat a tone as she always did when they were fighting.

"Yea Morgan, no hitting Reid in front of your new goddaughter." Emily smiled, quickly changing the subject.

This comment caused Morgan to stop glaring at Reid and to turn his full attention to Emily who was looking at him happily.

"Hotch, Emily... you don't know how honoured I am." He gushed, hugging Emily tightly and giving Hotch a mega grin, not able to shake his hand as he was still holding Ruby.

"Well as long as you stop Ruby following in her mothers' footsteps, you have the job." Hotch said smiling, earning himself a dirty look from Emily.

"One more thing before I forget." Emily said after a moment of silence in which the whole team stood staring at Ruby, "I'm sorry for the way I treated all of you... I was pretty mean sometimes." She said meekly.

"No apology needed sweety, we all still love you... we just didn't trust you with a gun... or a stapler, or a coffee cup, or anything even remotely dangerous." Garcia said reassuringly with a huge smile in Emily's direction.

The rest of the team nodded in agreement, each smiling at her.

"Yea I forgive you, even if you did hurt me." Reid muttered, rubbing the spot on his head where she'd hit him all those months ago.

"Jeez Spence get over it." JJ said, causing the whole team to laugh and Reid to turn pink.

"Well we better leave you four alone for a while, but we'll visit you at home tomorrow when you get out." Rossi said after a moment.

"Yea text me when you get settled back in and I'll drag Will and Henry around to meet his new cousin." JJ said, standing as she did so.

"Yea Kevin and I might pop over some time as well." Garcia said smiling as she to stood.

"Yup, and I'll drag Reid over with me to see my new goddaughter." Morgan said proudly.

With that the team all made their way out one by one, leaving Emily, Hotch, Jack and Ruby alone to bond.

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Well I'm done, finis. Fin. críochnaithe (that's Irish for finished). Hope you liked it... and I honestly have no idea where the Emily as a burlesque dancer came from... just random... I guess it was cause I was watching Moulin Rouge...lol

Oh and I'd like to thank EVERYONE who read this story, especially the ones who reviewed it... I love you all!


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